Technically Behaving

I just returned home from the DMV. I would just like to offer this awful agency some tips to better serve me.

1. Please accept credit or debit cards! It is not 1982 anymore people! Even most bars in Edgerton will accept debit cards. I don’t carry my check book on me anymore, haven’t in years. I was lucky that I had the $24 on me to renew my license. I needed to renew my plates to but did that over the phone in the parking lot due to cash shortage.

2. Schedule your employees breaks. Then 3 out of the 4 people you have working won’t all go on break at the same time.

3. Teach the guy who’s only job it is to take the pictures to work the counter. Then he’d be a little more useful than asking people about the weather.

I feel better now. Thank god I don’t have to renew my license until 2015, maybe by then they will accept something other than a check. Which reminds me I need to order more checks finally after about 3 years or more.

It has been raining here for over a week. The rain finally stopped Friday. Friday after my Grandma’s funeral I went to put my bowling bag in the trunk of my car and it was flooded! WTF! How does the trunk of a car flood. Thank god my cousin owns Oren’s Auto Body & Carwash on North Swift Street in Edgerton.(Shameless name drop, get over it!) My roommates little brother Levi works at the body shop and took care of the source of the flooding. He thinks that the drainage in one of my tail lights was the culprit. So I have now spent the weekend watching my trunk dry. Tomorrow I will definitely be going to pick up some Febreeze to get the musty smell out of everything.

 Definition:  What you do before and after visitations and funerals.  Consists of mostly going to bars and drinking a lot of beer and talking about the deceased.

Today was my Grandma’s funeral. It’s pretty sad when even your own children and grandchildren don’t cry at your funeral. The past couple of days have been an emotional mess. On one hand I felt bad for the woman who used to let us paint ceramic Easter eggs, always had Tang instead of orange juice, and served milk in a glass pitcher when we would go to her house on Sunday’s for dinner. Presentation of the meal was important to her, even if most of the food was different temperatures. On the other had there was the woman who told my dad to just stay away while they were making his dad’s funeral arraignments. I was ok with everything until her obituary was in Wednesday’s Gazette. It was just like a final F You! I understand that her and my dad didn’t get a long, I’m not trying to say they did. Her children didn’t even mention my dad in the obituary. They didn’t list Jill and myself as grandkids. In my heart I know that we were the ones who hauled wood for them several times a year. I know it was us who painted her house. I know it was us who were at her table on holidays. Not her own children. They didn’t come home for holidays, and they didn’t come home for visits very often. Most of her kids didn’t even talk to her most of the time. Yet it was them who didn’t welcome us at the visitation last night. Only one of them welcomed us at the funeral today. These are the reason’s why after the service we didn’t go to her grave, or to the luncheon afterwards. The three of us went to a bar and had lunch and well deserved beers. Then we went to my dads and drank beer and did shots while telling our worst Grandma story. I know that’s not how you should send the dead off, but in this case I think it was fitting. You can’t hurt our feelings any more. All Jill and I did was love you when we were little. I guess that’s not always enough.

Ok, maybe not quite that bad, but pretty close. Bad enough to bum a smoke for the ride home and to open a cocktail after getting home. I had an altercation with a supervisor this morning like, 20 minutes after punching in. Good f*cking morning to you too Jodi! That just put me in a funk for the whole rest of the day. I won’t say anything more about work for fear of being dooced. Not that anyone at work knows about this page, but hey, you can never be too careful. After I punched out from work I had a voice mail from my mom to call her she said it was sort of an emergency. Like you can’t get into your email, emergency? Or is it my Grandma finally died, emergency? It was the latter. Now don’t go getting all emotional on me here people… she was a mean old lady. The elevator is going down, not up in this case. I mean she died sometime last night, and when Norm found her this morning dead, he realised the phones were also dead in the house. We didn’t have any storms last night. I’m pretty sure she has started the haunting pronto! That part of the story gave me the creeps. I shouldn’t say she was always mean, when my sister and I were small she liked us. Then we grew up. Apparently we are spoiled, rotten kids who have everything handed to us. Even though Jill and I had both been working in tobacco since we were about 11 and we both waitressed in High School. I’ll go and do my duty for my Grandpa, but I can’t say that I feel very sad right now. I’m sad for the person I knew as a child, but not the one I knew as an adult.

The past 24 hours have been a busy one. I have been home by myself. I love these kind of weekends. I love having the house to myself for a short period of time. It means I come up with a mile long to do list. Why do I only do this when Bridgette is gone? No idea. I did get almost everything done. The one thing I didn’t do is hang the new pictures in my bedroom. I’m too tired to screw with that right no. I did clean my closet and brought 4 trash bags full of clothes to Goodwill. This is so not even funny! I just brought 2 bags there about a month ago. I think I also brought another 3 there about 4 months ago. Did I mention I also threw out about 2 bags of clothes? For some reason I love to keep jeans with holes in the crotch area. I think my reasoning is I’ll do yard work in them. Let me tell you, I’ve never done yard work in any of these jeans. I’m a clothes pack rat. Today I regained my freedom from my closet and dresser. I think now I’ll go watch a movie.

I think as my dad gets older he gets more in touch with his feminine side. The same man who use to make us sit through Sunday morning cowboy movie marathons and bitch every time I would mention the movie Grease, just called to tell me he went to see Hairspray and he really loved it. WTF! Did they add some kind of standoff scene to the remake? I suppose it’s possible. When I told him that I had no desire to see Hairspray at the theaters, I’d just watch it on HBO, he told me that you have to see it on the big screen to really get the full effect of the singing and dance scenes. Are you f*cking kidding me?!  If this were an isolated episode I wouldn’t be concerned, but he also loved the movie In Her Shoes. I think dude needs to put on some camo, break out a Ted Nugent CD and go kill something pronto!